Monday, June 2, 2008

If I were president

I would get these laws put into place like YESTERDAY:

1) sibling rivalry would be soooooo illegal, and the punishment would be sooo severe, that no child would ever dare go down that road. (Don't ask what the punishment would be, because I haven't thought that far, and don't want to sound cruel and crazy anyway by actually thinking of something, so just figure IN THEORY it would be really bad, and battles between siblings would be non-existent.)

2) it would be legal, and encouraged, to tie your toddler to the bed when he/she refuses to stay in it for more than two seconds at nap time and/or bedtime (it would especially be legal and encouraged at 10pm, two full hours after the child was initially put into bed, and had been repeatedly put back to bed every few minutes)

3) the following phrases would be heavily fined and punishable: "that's not fair!", "I had it first!", "He's/She's not sharing", "I don't want to", "I don't like that", "he/she started it", etc etc etc

4) all homes would be equipped with a maid and a chef and a chauffeur (so moms would have time to actually play with, and enjoy, their children)

5) toilets would come with a self-cleaning feature. (no explanation needed)

6) medical care wouldn't cost so much, gas wouldn't cost so much.

7) (I had to go stick a certain SOMEONE BY THE NAME OF CONNOR back in bed AGAIN (because yes, this is a future-dated post and I'm writing at 2pm on May 30th, a full hour after I initially put the punk down for his nap) and lost my train of thought, so just think up whatever rule you think would make a mom's life easier and insert it here)


Kaci said...

HERE HERE!! Or whatever the judges say for that. :)

Matt & Jodi said...

I would TOTALLY vote for you! If the "I had it first", "He's/She's not sharing", "I don't want to", "I don't like that" rule were enforced, I don't think we would have the budget deficit that we have today (or the insane gas prices, either).

(Oh, and I would be a much easier mom to live with if I didn't have to hear all that whining, either.)

Erika said...

Sounds like a plan! I will write u in on the next ballot. I really like the idea of play time with the kids and the self cleaning toilet!

Kellan said...

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and YES!! And, milk wouldn't cost so much either! Or mean and cereal.

Have a good evening Leah - Kellan

Betsy said...

LOL! I want in on some of those rules... :)

Jen said...

YES! I'm in and I would so vote for you!