Straight from the Auntie's Mouth

My Auntie watched the boys for me yesterday while I attended my grandpa's funeral. This is the email she sent me about her day:

I learned some stuff today!

About little boys! I used to have one, but 29 years have passed, and I am
officially NEW.

I baby-sat my great nephews Jared (3) and Connor (1 and then some) today.

I figured Connor might holler when his mama left but he didn't even really mind.
Sorry Mama! He just figured "this old auntie" was here to stay so make the best of it, and he did.

What did I learn you ask?

I learned that when you ask a three year old boy if, perhaps, he might need to
go potty, he might say, "Auntie, nothing needs to come out of my penis right now."

Okay!

I learned that if you give The Baby a dum dum and he sucks on it and never takes it
out after you give it to him, and the "stick" gets soggy, and THEN you insist he take it out to show you "how it's going" the dum dum breaks off in baby's mouth
and you are left with a stick and have to sweep your finger through his mouth
to retrieve the dum dum and then you are sweating, and if you have never had a
hot flash you are sure you did. No more dum dum's on this Auntie's time. Sheesh.

The baby luckily didn't know what happened and I was so fast at "sweeping"
the dum dum out, he didn't realize the dum dum time was over. I was pretty surprised I pulled that off! His nose wrinkled but that was it. I got him a gram cracker!

Auntie hates dum dums now.

I learned that Jared's blue blanket with the silk edges has SUPER POWERS.
He insisted that I was to be "the baby" and I was to call him "daddy". I did.
I cried for a bottle and "drank" it and hollered for more. He was rather lazy as
he didn't walk back to the kitchen set up for more milk (which I DID when he
was the baby!). He told me his blue blanket had special powers and he could
REFILL the bottle for me with milk from there. Sure enough, a faucet appeared
and the bottle was refilled. Lazy man.

I am still not sure who made the better baby.

We watched the new version of Ariel (that little mermaid chick : ) as THE mama.
Her daughter was named Melody and sort of disrespectful. I don't know what to think other than I learned that her daddy was pretty much NOT INVOLVED. Sheesh.

I learned that Connor really likes to sit in the baby doll "umbrella stroller"
and he really likes to try to buckle himself in. I also am pretty sure that he usually hears from the people he lives with that "he's too big to fit" in it. But I learned today, he really isn't! And he can buckle himself in!

I also learned what great fun it is to be THE GREAT AUNT!