I have great friends

There was a day a few weeks back where everything just seemed to go very VERY wrong. The kids were at their very WORST, and it was all three kids at once. Time-outs weren't working, loss of priveleges wasn't working, and a mom at her witts end shouting LOUDLY wasn't working either. This mom found herself in tears several times throughout the day. It was a combination of frustration, anger, and some MAJOR self-doubt of my role as mother and teacher, etc to my children. When I had all three kids in time-outs, and all four of us were tearful and angry and frustrated, I started to assume it truly must be something I was doing wrong, and not them at all. Thankfully for me, (unfortunately for HER), my friend Beth happened to be over here for the brunt of it, and assured me many times over that it wasn't just me being irritable and short-tempered, and that my kids were behaving as neither of us had ever seen before. Lots of sassing, stomping, shouting, ignoring requests/demands, etc. Just an overall very bad day. I slept very fitfully that night, and spent more time in tears feeling very regretful of how the day had gone, how it had ended, and desperately trying to analyze everything to figure out a way to make sure the following day went far FAR better. I'm still unsure what the issue was that day, but the next day was better. However, that bad day still lingers in my mind and bothers me greatly. Not only because I had no idea my kids could truly behave that badly, but also because I have never felt more overwhelmed or out of control of a situation, and because of how I went to bed feeling, for the very first time, like I had completely failed my children, like I had not handled the situation throughout the day as well as I should have, and because I fear I have somehow probably scarred my children for life with my angry shouting when I finally lost my temper. Those of you who know me well, know my flaws, you know my hopes and my dreams, and you know my fears. Those of you who know me well, know how much being a mother has ALWAYS meant to me, even before having children. It's all I have ever wanted to be. So that day really rocked the foundation I stood on as a mother, and who I knew myself to be as a mother.

My dear friend Beth offered encouragement and support and a kind shoulder to lean on, and assured me that all moms have days like this and that I truly am a good mom. Her words fell on mostly deaf ears, as I was feeling very low, and I think she sensed it. So after some time passed, she sent me a card:


I hope she doesn't mind that I am sharing what she wrote, but the words meant so much to me at the time I got to read them, and I need to brag that I'm very lucky to have such a caring and considerate and uplifting friend:

"I also wanted to tell you what an awesome mom and friend you are. My heart went out to you when I saw that you were discouraged. When you feel that way, try to remember you are a great mom with great kids. But even great kids push the envelope from time to time!"

My friend Cattigan also recently told me that I'm very intimidating sometimes because I come off as such a perfect mom. I think I nearly choked to death on my laughter, because although the day I mentioned was the worst day BY FAR that I've been a part of, there have been plenty other days where I know I wasn't at my best. But it was encouraging to hear that my overall appearance to the world is pretty good, and that my kids do well enough overall to set a good tone in people's minds. So even though it's FAR from true (and she knows it!), it boosted me up a little. I think our conversation continued with us swapping stories of our children's less-than-glorious moments in life and having a good laugh.

Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine, and sometimes a good cry really does help. And sometimes the nicely-timed words in a card from a good friend can make all the difference as well.

To all my friends, thank you for laughing with me through the good and bad stuff, encouraging me when I'm down, supporting and guiding me when I'm lost, and loving me no matter what. I love you all and appreciate you very much.