According to Jared

"I don't need to go to preschool anymore, because I know everything."
(me: "Teacher Terrie has LOTS of other things to teach you, Jared.")
"No she doesn't. I know everything she knows."
(so there you have it!)

(said in that very high-and-mighty tone) "Um, mom, I was expecting some yogurt and a drink with my lunch..."

"MOM! Do you hear that sound?"
(me: "what sound?")
"The sound of that mommy and daddy show on the TV; can you turn it to a kid show, please?"(he'd been watching kid shows on channel 9 but at noon, it turns to a cooking show...)

"Actually, I think I need to have some treats after my lunch, okay? Is that a good idea?"

"Mom, I'm being a good boy, so that means I get to chew gum now" (first thing this morning)

"MOM! Heidi (our dog) is trying to eat me!" (she was sniffing him)

"I think our house is a little dirty today." (Yeah, I have 101 reasons WHY it's dirty, too)

"I think my dad wants to be all day home with me today."
(me: "I think so, too")
"Yeah, but his truck drives him to work instead."
(I'm sure his dad WISHES it was the truck driving him to work every day, instead of him having to navigating traffic for two hours one way each and every day HIMSELF)